[text: sickdick]: oh man me too 

[text: sickdick]: i have the chicken nuggets u left over too 

[text: sickdick]: from last week 

[text: sickdick]:i would get up to heat them up but im so high i dont even know how many fingers i  have

//downward

sickeyes:

“Oh, okay,” he muttered softly, eyes heavy, though he’s not really all that tired, “Yeah I’ll…let it…pass.” Delsin was convinced he wasn’t speaking for himself. The voice was too calm, too low. Took too long to leave his lips and, with a sigh, he, let his shoulders drop as he relaxed, fingers playing against the metal backing of his phone.

….the funny thing was,
Delsin could kill any man that wronged him.
Delsin could literally snap their necks with a hand, could turn them into smoke and ash and inhale them in and let them live in his chest and he’d be breathing them out and in and out and in before they could even blink, open their mouths to correct themselves. He wondered if Brent knew this, and if so, he wondered why Brent kept coming around if he could be so explosive, so dangerous. He wondered why Brent played with this fire. why why why why.

“Why?”
Wait, did he say that out loud?
Shit.
He groaned.
Hopefully Brent ignored that.

In this state though he wasn’t much trouble, in any other state he was apt to eat people whole. Maybe that was why people preferred to deal with him while he was fucked up. Hell, he preferred himself in this state too. Delsin didn’t blame people for steering clear of him until they knew he was either drinking or so high that he could barely function.

He sent a text to Fetch. He was pretty sure it was so fucked up and misspelled that it’s ridiculous but it said something and pizza and his brother and how he missed him…wait - yeah, he put that in there. right? he had thoughts of rereading it but it sounded like so much work. Delsin set the phone aside and pushed his thumbs into his eyes, letting a soft noise escape him.

His fingertips were numb.
his mind was numb.
his everything was numb.

And oh, that was nice. 

Reggie’s name and face left him as the high washed through him, carrying him off much like the waters that had swallowed him whole in the first place. Everything fizzled and popped and the high was hot in his veins; he swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

When had he opened them in the first place?

Fire used to frighten him, the glare and the danger, all of it was enough to keep him away, watching from a distance until he had to take care of Fetch. A ball of fire without the powers but once you throw that into the mix— Hell. You get a scared kid with things they can’t understand or control just as much as he didn’t know what was happening as well. All he could do was hope for the best and keep him in check. That was all that mattered anyways. That was all that kept him from being captured and out of Cay. Abel was a perfect storm missing the eye, missing that bit of calmness where you thought everything was alright. That’s what his life was about.

That was the only thing that mattered.

I guess you could say he was drawn to that type of thing. Dangerous and explosive. A ticking time bomb that’s waiting to explode.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 

The drugs though, the drugs took away the pain. They took away everything that he was worried about and it calmed them down. It calmed Delsin down. Maybe he was a magnet for lost causes but maybe, just maybe, it’s possible to keep the conduit alive with the aid of some opiates. Before he destroys himself beyond recognition. Brent would play a part in it all.

Maybe the drugs just suppressed the inevitable. Maybe it was just there to muffle the ticking of the clock as it counted down the seconds of their lives. Lost to the haze and the heat, even in rainy Seattle.

“Why what?” The man found himself saying before he could even comprehend that Delsin had asked a question. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could put a little meaning to them. They just hung in the room until he was able to figure it out. “Why’d you say why?”

Words drawled out. But oh, it felt so good.

13:47 11 Sep 2014 || 23

Wake ‘n Bake || CLOSED (sickeyes) highschool!au

sickeyes:

“Ah shit, really?” Delsin groans, “Like…okay. Yeah, I know how he gets. He just starts talking and like chews my head off. Like, keeps calling you my boyfriend and shit?” He takes another drag as they walk, kicking a stray pine cone, “Dude you’re my bro. He and I hang out yeah, but dude.” They had just started mass effect, it’s not like they could just drop that, they definitely had to finish their play through now.

Having a boyfriend was still weird to him, well, were they even that? They definitely had a thing, Delsin woke up in his bed every so often and that had to be the very definition of a thing; it was nice. He was nice. He put up with him, even though Reggie didn’t like him all too much. “I’ll text him, hopefully he’s not too mad.” Delsin really hopes he isn’t too mad, because, shit, Fetch made him smile and made him happy and a not happy Fetch made him not happy. If…that made sense. He sighs. “Dude I don’t even want to go to school.”

_{Brent chuckled, okay, good. At least now Fetch wasn’t going to bother him about Delsin not caring. The thing with Abel was that he was actually a really cool kid and everything, it was just that he could worry sometimes. A lot of the times, but that’s a different story. In all honesty, it was Brent’s fault that he got anxious. Their parents didn’t give two fucks about whether their oldest son got home before two am, but his little brother… His little brother definitely did and that was all that mattered.}

_{The mohawked kid grinned at the comment, “Then it’s simple. We just don’t go.” Yeah, don’t go and Brent will just have to deal with being a senior again, at this point he didn’t know why he didn’t just drop out, but leaving his best friend in that hellhole from 8 to 2– well whatever time they managed to saunter in their high off their asses to 2, hell even earlier most days– it just wasn’t something that he could do. Besides, if he ever managed to graduate the look on his brother’s face would be one worth going to school for. The ‘Fuck you, I didn’t think you’d do it’ look was all he was trying to achieve.}

_{“But I do got some of that good shit in my bag and I kinda wanna hit on Ms. Manning.” Delsin’s English teacher, who up until now had yet to kick Brent out of her classroom. Which had to mean something, right?}

21:24 26 Aug 2014 || 13

_{He couldn’t what?}

_{Brent blinked twice before his body began to react, the two of them were back at his place on the sofa that didn’t match the rest of the furniture. The coffee table littered with syringes, pills, powders, and half empty cans of energy drinks, tools of the trade, the way it always was when it was just the two of them on another binge.}

_{Maybe they were just having too much fun at this point. There were enough signs that they should’ve stopped, the Russian roulette they played with doses they knew their bodies probably couldn’t handle, that maybe they’d end up overdosing, the looming thought that maybe this’ll be the last time I do this. Hopefully not, but at this point there wasn’t anything else to lose.}

_{But it was supposed to be a game. It was supposed to be fun, nothing serious.}

_{Immobile. Frozen in space, his body unresponsive to any kind of stimulus. He’s trying but his hardest isn’t hard enough, the words don’t form, his voice stays silent just waiting until he could respond. It felt like a million years before his attention was on his best friend.}

_{That’s right.}

_{He can’t breathe, can he?}

_{“Dude, just try.” Brent wasn’t an EMT, he wasn’t anybody that could help. All he knew was through experience, the moments he had already lived through but nothing was coming up. Drawing blank, after blank, after blank. In the self induced haze he grabbed Delsin’s hand as he tried to recollect every sober bit of himself but the man was too far gone to have anything sober left in his body.}

_{“I got you.“ The words repeated over and over again, more of a reminder to Brent than it was to his friend. The words were all but useless as he tried to keep his friend from holding onto consciousness while he was losing his grip on his own. Every ounce in his body was working to hold his friend, to console him.}

_{Muttering that everything was going to be alright.}

_{Nothing was going to be okay.}

_{And Brent knew how this was going to end, he just knew it but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but lie to Delsin and pretend that yeah, it’ll pass. The conduit’s voice was raspy and nearly gone but he was locked, holding his best friend and cursing. It was his fault that he was like this.}

_{Without Brent, Delsin might have been fine.}

_{He could’ve been happy.}

                                                                                _{He was too late.}

                    _{He wouldn’t be dying.}

_{It just didn’t make sense why it had to be this way. Why it had to be like t h i s.}

_{Brent woke up with his heart thumping loudly in his chest, eyes glancing over to the empty spot on the couch.}

_{That’s right.}

_{He was alone now.}

sickeyes:

“Just….don’t….”

Delsin threads his fingers through his hair and turns as the older Walker attempts to touch him but no no no no no he feels awful he doesn’t wanna be touched doesn’t wanna be fucking touched and he presses himself into the wall, his entire world spinning as the drugs sink into his gut and heart and head and he slides down, pulling his hair rough, tight, sob choking his words as he tries to speak again, and they come out as whines and whimpers.

Brent is touching him and he wants to pull away but he can’t find the will to and tears are clinging to his eyes and his chest is like a black hole and it aches and hurts and he has the pained want to just hold tight to Abel because Abel loves him and so does Brent but he doesn’t know, he’s confused so confused and his eyes chase shadows around the room.

His nails dig into Brent’s arm as he holds on tightly, fearing he may not be grounded anymore unless he holds on, holds on and “make it stop,” drops from his mouth and the words are heavy and distant and he wishes his boyfriend was here he misses his boyfriend

and

he buries himself into Brent and shakes and shakes and god why did he take this much Brent warned him not to and he’s reacting badly and this is insane and he squeezes his eyes shut to try and stop the room from spinning and he feels vertigo and he’s so close to vomiting but

he bites it back

in favor of leaning into his friend’s chest, and pulling in a long, loud noise, akin to a sob.

22:00 26 Jun 2014 || 3